It’s 3 am on Friday, June 24th and I’m wide awake. I have now taken 3 showers in the last 24 hours and that does not count the fact that I have drenched 2 sets of pajamas with sweat in the last 3 hours. I pulled a dumb blonde move and booked an Airbnb place in Paris in the month of June that DOES NOT HAVE AIR CONDITIONING! I’m screaming at myself not at the readers. The sun came out in Paris two days ago with a vengeance. Paris in summer makes Houston look like a walk in the Colorado Rockies during summer. It feels like 100 degrees with 90% humidity which in actuality it only reach 82 today. Please take into account that the ground is still soaked with rain from the past month so its like walking around in a steam-sauna room.
As I stated in an earlier blog I’ve been sick this week with the flu but I felt better yesterday and today – no make that day before yesterday and yesterday. Too complicated, until I get out of this bed to take my 4th shower in 24hrs and the sun is again shining in Paris it is still today for me. Right now I’m afraid to move too much because I am sleeping naked with the window open listening to the construction trucks drive by every 15 minutes. It’s a good thing I’m on the 5th floor because I would not wish the sight of me at this point on anyone. Believe me, if I can see the neighbor one floor below me in the next building get up from his dinner table in his underwear I have a feeling that someone from the taller building across the street might be able to see into my apartment. I do have the curtains closed but am truly hoping for that blast of wind to cool off the room.
So I’m laying here trying to put a positive spin on the fact that I have no air conditioning in Paris in JUNE! Did I mention I am laying on a towel because I am sweating more than a hooker in the front row at church? I’m 53 and have been experiencing hot flashes for about 9 years now but combined with NO AIR CONDITIONING (again I’m yelling at myself) I look like one of those Gatorade commercials where the athletes have been working out for hours and have the sweat beads on the forehead dripping down their throat. I have a hand towel at the ready when it starts to get into my eyes however I don’t have the cold refreshing drink because I have drunk all of the water. Which will present a problem of its own I’m sure in the fact that I am still not sleeping at now 3:30 am in the morning of my last full day in Paris. So back to the positive fact that I am experiencing Paris Heat Flashes and combining them with 9 years of Hot Flashes. Perhaps by the time I land in New York on Saturday night I will have sweated out all the alcohol I’ve drank while in Europe. Perhaps I’ll drop a couple of pounds of water weight – don’t worry I’m not even going to try to guess how much food weight I’ve added. I know when I wake up in the morning if I try to pull on the spanx I will get a workout in the 15 minutes it will take to try to pull elastic compression underwear up a sweaty body. Don’t worry, I will take a shower before getting dressed again but the heat/hot flashes will have me sweating again as I towel ‘dry’. At least I use deodorant on top of daily showers – yes I’m again talking about Mr. Nice Suit Needs Deodorant from the metro yesterday. I encountered his brother and sisters on the metro today.
Did I mention I haven’t slept in two nights because it is hotter than a habanero pepper when the sun shines in Paris in JUNE after over a month of rain with the ground soaked? Perhaps the best outcome is the fact that I may recover from jet lag faster since by the time I get to the airport on Saturday morning I’ll be functioning on less than probably a full night’s sleep in 96 hours. Time to towel off the face again, I feel another hot flash building up.
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